Quilt Tripping and Manipulations...

I was having this conversation about guilt tripping and manipulations... I know that guilt is a tool that Satan uses... But what about others that are around us? I think family can be the worst when it comes to manipulation and guilt tripping... I am sure I have been guilty of this one myself... For example when I would want my kids to clean their room and they didn't want too... I would tell them that if they didn't clean it then it would make me sad and I would cry and you don't want your momma to cry now do you? So when they were younger, they bought into this  manipulation and I seen that it worked and would try it any time I thought I could get by with it...  But I think family knows the right triggers to hit as adults too... They know how to say something in a way that gets you to do what they want... And it doesn't matter what the cost is... If they need or needed something, and knowing I didn't want to do it and I would pay the price later, if they worded it or whined enough, they knew I was hooked in... I don't know if this is really their fault or if it is conditioning or ??? I don't think it is healthy though... Everything comes at a price, and some are at a higher cost than others... 


It really gets me when they bring my faith into it... For example when someone brings up that because you are a Christian you should always be willing to forgive and help people... And when you say no, they state that you must not be a good Christian or a real Christian because you aren't doing what the Bible says and that is why Christians are hypocrites...  

Or like for example, it was like in order to get anyone to shut up about us not wanting to do what they wanted when we were kids, you just did it... It was easier and alot less horrible to just do it... So you learn real fast that you do what is ask, no questions and then it works out for the most part... And if someone did something nice for you, then guaranteed there was a price tag involved... I think that is one of the reasons I never ask for help, because if you do that, there will be something bad that will happen down the line... I don't think things have changed much from when I was a kid... 


As a Christian I know that guilt holds us captive and excludes us being closer to God. I'm not sure this posting is really about guilt rather than those who use what the Bible says and turns it into a manipulation to get us to do what they want at what ever cost there is. 


Here are some verses that come to mind: 

• (I Peter 3:9) 9 not rendering evil for evil, or insult for insult; but instead blessing; knowing that to this were you called, that you may inherit a blessing.
• (Colossians 3:13) 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.
• (Matthew 6:14-15) 14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
• (Matthew 18:21-22) 21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, "“I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
• (Mark 11:25-26) 25 Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your transgressions.”"
• (Matthew 5:39-42) 39 But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. 41 Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.
• (Romans 12:19-21) 19 Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, “Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
• (Luke 6:27-37) 27 “But I tell you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you. 29 To him who strikes you on the cheek, offer also the other; and from him who takes away your cloak, don’t withhold your coat also. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and don’t ask him who takes away your goods to give them back again. 31 “As you would like people to do to you, do exactly so to them. 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive back as much. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is also merciful. 37 Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Set free, and you will be set free.
• (Proverbs 14:21) "He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy."
• (Proverbs 16:19) "Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud." 

Now when I think of these verses, I know there is alot more going on and we need to study everything around them... But I have known many non-Christians that seem to know these verses better than alot of Christians... My only reasoning for that is because they use it as a tool to manipulate people who are Christians... I'm not saying everyone... But  have known some who will say that if you don't help so and so, than that just shows us that you are't a Christian like you say you are... Which in turns puts the Christian on defense and opens the door to whatever is to come next...

But then in my thinking we are also told to not be a fool... I think GUILT TRIPPING and MANIPULATIONS is a big thing for many... I know there are many times I will give in when someone goes on and on and on about something... Even when I know it is wrong, and when they bring up the Bible verses and use them in the conversation, I go on the defense and I know at that point I have been defeated by this tool...

I think lately what is getting me and most everyone knows this is that even though they know how I am feeling and that has not been very good, it still seems to happen all the time... It's like I just throw my hands in the air and say 'What Ever"...

There must be alot of people that have the same problem... There is page after page in Google on this topic...    I would like to thank my friend who helped me word this blog all and have it make sense for me... I am sure it took some time to do that :)