Status Shuffle is the world's largest collection of funny Facebook status messages... You can choose any status from the list, and even share your own suggestions to see how popular they get! Here is a direct link to Status Shuffle on Facebook... I would agree... I always find something that fits what I am thinking or when I have no thoughts at all... Which is rare for me... I usually have no problem sharing what I am thinking, lol...
Here are some of my favorites:
Under Christian Heading
- God has a plan for your life. The Enemy has a plan for your life. Be ready for both. Just be wise enough to know which one to battle and which one to embrace.
- To all my family & friends: may your problems be less, may you joy be more, may nothing but love come through your door.
- The storms of life may be raging all around you, but GOD is always there to bring you thru.
- You never know what God has around the next corner which makes life full of endless possibilities. :)
- fear not my child I'm with you always I feel every pain and every tear I see I know how to care for what belongs to me ~ God
- Always keep your head up, cause if it's down you won't be able to see the blessings that have been placed in your life.
- God is there in the midst of chaos. When life is upside down remember that you're in the hands of the Creator. Look to God & you'll always know which way is up!
Under Friendship Heading
- knows that we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
- If I died tomorrow, what would you want me to know...
- I love that I'm surrounded by good friends & family. When good people are in your life, good things tend to happen =)
- REAL best friends should always be there no matter who comes along or what you two fight over
- A friend is someone you can laugh and can play with, a true friend is someone you can pour your heart out to can tell secrets to and know they are safe.
- It's great when two strangers become friends but its sad when two friends become strangers
- wants to say thank you to the people who have walked into my life and made it great but also thank you to those who have walked out of it and made it fantastic!
Under Christian Encouragement Heading
- God is the only one i care to please for when the earth is gone and and life is over, what she thought of me will be the only thing that matters
- prayer is so powerful, it's like your own little bag of fairy dust so be a tinker bell and use it daily!
- When my whole world is shaking & slowly crumbling, the only thing standing firm is Christ Jesus. she will NEVER leave us or forsake us.That's unconditional love
- You know who else hit a rough spot?? Jesus. she was dead, but three days later she was rocking it resurrection style!!
- Sometimes life can be rough, but allow your faith to turn the stumbling blocks of life into stepping stones, and step to the next level into your promotion!
- When life gets you down, stop, drop, and pray.
- Don't let anyone take your joy! Misery loves company! Make the devil mad and stay happy, that snake hates your smile and your laugh, so do them often!
Under Kids Heading
- All the stress of the day melts away when your kids tell you that they love you.
- really misses the days when my children were younger and a Popsicle, a band-aid, or a hug could fix all of their problems!!!
- Just because you can give birth don't make you a parent, It just makes you a baby machine, Parenting is responsibility. Some can't handle responsibility.
- If your kids aren't driving you crazy, you're not spending enough time with them!
- she is my heart, my soul, my "best thing that ever happened to me", the source of many laughs and a few tears. she is my daughter and she is my world.
- My children are just that, MY CHILDREN! Whatever they are, think and path they follow & regardless of the mistakes they make, I Love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
- The hardest part of being a parent is knowing you raised them to know better and having to stand back and watch, praying they know to do better.
Under Family Issues Heading
- believes that as parents, our first responsibility is the safety and well-being of our children...everything, and everyone else are secondary.
- You may not be able to choose the family members in your blood family, but you can create the family you wish for by your friends and other people in your life.
- Family is supposed be there for you no matter what comes your way. Shame on the ones who are not, that's is not what family is about.
- The greatest pleasure and personal satisfaction to me in life is to prove to people that I can and will do the things that they say are impossible for me to do.
- The meaning of Family: It's not the family who acts true to your face. It's the family who remains true behind your back.
- I wonder if you shook another persons family tree, how many nuts would fall to the ground?
- Some people say family is everything well that is not aways true some times it the people that act more like your family that matter in life.
Under Witty Heading
- If there was really such a thing as a Family Tree, I'd take out a saw and cut off some branches!
- Don't worry, 4 out of 5 voices in my head agree I'm doing just fine...
- The next time someone annoys you so much you just wanna slap em..do it and say, "Mosquito" and quickly walk away ;D
- ...you can learn a lot about someone by how they talk about others
- ~I'm not fat I have curves, I'm not short I'm fun sized, I'm not weird I'm just different, and I'm not ugly. You're just jealous that I'm real.~
- You should never forget the people who are willing to stand by your side at whatever cost. They are your True Friends.
- My dishes have reproductive organs -you put 2 things in the sink, walk away and when you return they triple!
Under Gibberish Heading
- is stalking Gandhi's monkeys
- comprehends frozen mall santas
- would really like horrifying oranges
- is drinking a tall glass of a nice variety of cookie dough
- doesn't care about some witty little dying wishes
- dreams of sun-kissed yawns
- wonders whether he'll ever see some mouthwatering double dares
Under Sarcastic Heading
- HI my name is Migraine. The special today is free. I come with painful pounding in your head. As a bonus, I will come at a bad time to make your life hell.
- If you get sugar in your eye does that mean you can classify yourself as eye candy???
- I wonder did God give us toes to find furniture in the dark?
- Dear Life, When I say 'Things can't get any worse' it's NOT a challenge.
- says next time your talking about me behind me back, click your heals together three times and say i need a life.
- Character, integrity, trust and friendship. Some people need to look those up and find the real meaning.
- I have a city girls attitude and a country girls aim... Keep pushing me and you'll see BOTH!!
Under Most Popular Heading
- Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!
- ...Why Yes Officer...I did see the Speed Limit sign...I just didn't see YOUR car!
- Love me or hate me, both are in my favor..If you love me, I'll always be in your heart..If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind ~Shakespeare~
- Not sure what's higher, Food prices, Gas, Unemployment, or Charlie Sheen
- Contrary to popular opinion, alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos...
- I am stronger because I had to be, I am smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of the sadness I've known and now wiser because I learned.
- Life's not about the people who act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back.
Under Sleep Heading
- Sleep and I have a complicated relationship...
- Ever dreamed of falling and when you 'hit the ground' had a mini spasm attack when really you were still on the bed? Scary moment :)
- 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and..wait a minute, why in the heck are their 10 monkeys in my bedroom?
- what's that... oh OK I'll be right there...sorry friends my pillow just told me that my blanket and mattress are fighting again, I need to go separate them
- This status update is brought to you by Bed Time and Sweet dreams..Good night all. :)
- The best feeling in the world is falling asleep next to someone you care about. The second best feeling is waking up next to them hoping tonight i will sleep like a log, and that means i have to log out, right? :)
- alright...logging out to sleep like a logzzz...nite2 y'all.
- A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio. It says that 2 Brazilian men were killed. she starts crying and says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
- A blond gets pulled over. the cop asks her to give him her license. she says, "u need to keep track. yesterday u take away my license and 2day u wanna see it!"
- 2 blonds are trying to unlock their car. the 1st blond tries to unlock it with a coat hanger. the 2nd says "hurry up its starting to rain & the top is down!"
- do you know how to make a blonde drowned in a bath tub. I do!! put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the tub
- i went 2 the river. i saw a blond on the other side. i asked the blond,"how do i get 2 the other side?" the blond said," u ARE on the other side!"
- So there was a blond walking down the street. she asked a brunette what idk means. The brunette says i don't know. The blond say OMG nobody knows.
- skydiving instructor says 2 pull the parachute when you can recognize the faces of people on the ground... blond says "what if i don't know anybody down there"