I decided to look up what it means to be a good friend and how to be a good friend... So I went to Wiki to look it up and see... These are some of the things I found... Hmmm...
- Don't be offended by your friend listening to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make their own decisions.
- Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.
Avoid saying "You should..." That may feel like you are imposing "shoulds" upon your friend and they're much less likely to listen.
Listen. You don't have to agree––just listen to what is being said. Make sure to stop talking for a moment and listen. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about your or their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. For example, don't sigh and groan like the world is against you. Seek help elsewhere and try to stop being paranoid. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you're not judging them.
Don't be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big nos in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move toward more selfless people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck , don't expect constant sympathy.
Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue.
Go home when it seems like the time is right; don't be like furniture. Reach for the door knob and say "Bye." Turn the knob, leave...no one wants to be friends with a moocher or to feel usedStep back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.
Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately.
Don't set too many expectations and rules. Tapping other people in your dimension. Allowing your friendship to evolve and change naturally is really best - it allows your friend to be as unique and individual as you are, and for both of you to enjoy one another in that light.
What I look for in a Friend:
- When I think of friends and what I'm looking for in a friendship is someone who will be honest with me, even if I might not like what they have to say... If they are stroking my ego, they aren't really being a friend to me... I have one friend who is like this and I appreciate when she says something to me, she does it with kindness and honesty...
- One of the things that drives me nuts and I'm certain that I'm not alone in this is when someone tells you that everything is going to be fine or they understand when they don't... There have been friends of mine that have gone through things and there is no way for me to understand because I have never been in their shoes... But that doesn't mean I can't sympathize and sit there with them... For example, a friend of mine lost a child and thank God I have never gone through that... I hurt for her and felt so bad for her... One of the worse things for me to tell her is that I understand... That would have been a lie... But I could hold her hand and let her know I was there for her... If you say you are going to be there for them, be sure to be... Don't just say it because it sounds like the right thing... If you can't be there, then say nothing and hold her hand...
- Even when I'm not feeling good, it is nice to receive a call from a friend and have them genuinely care... This needs to be a two way street though... Be willing to be there for them too... Everyone has times in their lives when they need to be listened too...