Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dealing, Healing and Grief

A very good friend of mine has been having a difficult time lately. There have been problems in his life where the love of his life was removed from his home. And the reason for this was because he loved her and wanted to care for her. But in the midst of that family decided it was best they not be together. I hope this helps my friend.

Sometimes we associate grief with the death of a loved one, pet etc... But that isn't always true. We can grieve over loss of independence, that one gets me. And then we grieve over loss of loved ones due to divorce or seperation. There are many things we grieve over and that is perfectly normal. The steps to grief are as follows;

When a person experiences the loss of someone they love, either through divorce or death, they are forced to deal with grief. When a loss occurs, most of us are unprepared for how to handle it, especially if we have never had to deal with it before. Even if we have, it is still traumatic each time.

DENIAL-You tell yourself that it isn't happening. You tell yourself that your spouse or loved one will come back to you.

ANGER -You become angry at the way you were treated. Expressing anger is a sign that you are beginning to deal with your loss. If anger isn't expressed, it will make you bitter and hamper your recovery. It is important not to bury your anger, and it is important to express all of your anger before you try to forgive that person.

BARGAINING -Reaching the bargaining stage shows that you have begun to face the fact that the relationship is ending. You are past the denial stage. This is a necessary stage, and it helps you to look at what caused the problems in the first place.

DEPRESSION -It comes during the anger stage, and the bargaining stage, and in the letting go stage. It is characterized by many of the symptoms listed in the Symptoms of Grief. Depression is normal.

ACCEPTANCE -When you have worked through all of the other stages, you will come to acceptance. You will realize that it is final, and you are ready to get on with your life.You will come to realize that everything happened for the best, and that your life does have meaning. You will begin to feel free from the pain and the hurt. You will be finished with your grieving. You are ready to move on to a new life and let the other life remain in the past. You will be able to remember the good as well as the bad.


Anonymous said...

Depression, That Terrible Depression

I heard their rejections, and I felt the cold, and for me life was just going old!

I'd close my eyes, and I'd see the light. As I prayed to God they'd not open again, on this very night.

I heard many rejections for what I had to give. Yet the rejection that one, left me with no life to live!

My soul filled with depression, depression from afar! A depression that only leaves us each with a terrible scar.

On that morning, when I held my life tightly in my hand. It was then when I realized I wanted no part of this barren and worthless land!

As in dream, I watched myself as I put my life upon some dusty old shelf. I laid awake as I waited for that old reaper, my life passed before my eyes, I fell to sleep just deeper and deeper.

Then those words came unto me, telling me of the sparrows sitting in a trees. As His voice came from Heaven and asked me. Are you not as good as one of these?

Even knowing this, how it just stays and curds. Yet now I know, that depression is no more than just anger turned in wards!

Depression, depression from afar, its just that old depression that leaves you alone with a terrible scar.

the above was taken from the book of poetry called The First and The Last Rabbin and its lesson is important to us all. For in this world that seems bent on people hurting one another rather than doing what our Lord taught us each to do. And that was to love one another as we do ourselves.

So if you have been hurt by others just know your not alone! And don't fall into the arms of depression that will do nothing to help you or will it not heal the souls of those who may of come and hurt you!

God Bless,
David aka rabbin

Sandie said...

I am glad you read my post David. If you haven't seen the video yet, please refresh the page. I added that just recently

Love ya Pappy

Anonymous said...

I listened and watched and I know what is in your loving heart. And for me I with hope seek to find a way. As you and many others know I have done my best to serve by example of love for my Lord by giving love to others.

What He has in store for me I have no idea but I know that no matter what I shall continue to serve Him by example of always loving others. Even if it puts me in harms way by making me open for others to take! I will continue to follow by His example and if someone takes my hat I will offer them my coat! Or if one takes my heart and it is kicked I will be it up and hand back to them again!

For I shall live my loving Him and by loving all who come to my door!

Until it is that I can no longer walk or take a breath. I shall love all who meet me on this road we call life!

As Always I am your Pappy

Anonymous said...

Dealing and Healing,
As some know of my Mary's going. I now have another person living here in the house to keep an eye on me and my sickness. As the doctor says I should not be alone!

She is a nice lady but I find my eyes watering up all the time I so do mis my poor old Mary whom has been with me for nearly 10 years.

I look at the flowers I planted in the yard for her and spring has sprung and I just can't seem to get into doing my yard work that she so loved to watch grow! I see roses I planted for her and she is gone and we can't see each other anymore!

Life and my reasons to be what I am seems to have run away again!

I pray she is alright and her the choice her children have made for her are the right ones!

For me they only hurt and bing tears to eyes
As I walk where nobody hears my voice and under my breath quitely I say, "OH MARY" I so do miss you little old lady!