Stupidity and Choices

If life has taught us anything, you would think that I would stop making the same stupid choices over and over again... Or maybe learn from someone else's experience... It's like "OK! What will I do today that is stupid? " I am sure many have wondered the same thing... If not I want to run away from you because that would mean you think you are perfect and that would mean you are actually delusional...  

I'm not really talking about the choices we make and then later find out that it was a bad one... I am thinking about the ones that I know are bad and think it will have a different outcome... For instance, there is one place I like to go to... It is very pretty but I know when I go there that I will not be in the best of moods or thinking as I should be... Now if I go there and think there will be a different outcome when each time in the past I went, it was always the same, wouldn't you think I would smarten up a little bit... I would think so, but nope, I guess I am not programmed that way...

Or how about that really yummy looking piece of chocolate cake and I could even top it off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream... Now that sounds very good, but I know if I eat that ice cream a couple things will happen... First off I would end up sicker than a dog because I know my pancreas and tummy couldn't handle that and second I would want to eat more than just that once piece of cake and ice cream... Knowing how I would feel afterwards, I decide to go and eat that cake anyhow and an hour later I am sicker than a dog just like I thought I would be... But I'm not wanting anymore because I feel so yucky and then I beat myself up because I should have known better... I have had the same result over and over again... But did I learn? NO! I decided sometime later to give it a whirl and see if It would work out differently, just by chance... I'm sure every one can tell it didn't work out...

So now I wonder why it is that I make bad choices or stupid choices is a better way to put that... I wonder if during this particular time in my life it feels like the right thing to do. I don't have the power to see what the outcome would be, that is unless it is something I have tried to do in the past and now I want to give it another whirl...

It's kinda like this dog we use to have... His name was Sebastian and he was a Doberman Pincher... We rescued him from the animal shelter in Phoenix. When we got him home he seemed all sweet and such and was actually a very nice dog... But he has this weird habit that he would do all day long... We had one of those huge plastic red bats... If you have kids, I am sure you know what I am talking about... Sebastian would walk around the yard over and over again with that bat in his mouth... He was obsessed with that bat... About 10 rounds around the yard he would try to come into the house through the sliding glass door with that bat... Every time he would try to enter he would hit the door with the bat and he would fall back and start the routine all over again... This happened all day long... I wonder if humans are like that dog... We run around with a big red bat and keep knocking ourselves down by trying to get through a door that was not made for a big red bat... But we keep trying and hoping that one day that bat will fit through the door and of course it never does... But we keep trying...

I have a number of my own stupid things I do and I guess I am like Sebastian in many ways... I keep trying and thinking it will work out and I know the outcome, but I still try... You would think I would have learned from past experiences, but nope... I still try to get that big red bat to work and eventually I am going to kill myself with it... It's like when I am faced with a decisions or choice, I know the right choice- but I make the wrong one again... Even though it never turns out right, wonder why it is that I still do it? Hmmmm, I guess this is just one of those things only I would know the answer too... Or maybe not!

I have a few friends and family that knows I am not always on top of the thinking chain... They know I make alot of mistakes and make bad choices... Some are reversible and others may not be... Then I think about some choices can have a huge impact on others and are not pleasing to God... I have always wondered if God takes my stupid actions or thoughts into account...  It's like when you keep thinking on one particular thing over and over again and that consumes your time... It's like, OK, I just need to do it and get it done and over with and then all the sudden God comes to mind... I am guessing that would mean that would not be a good choice or decisions...  And I know that God watches and knows all things that we have done, are doing and are going to do... So it;s like EEEEks when you think about God watching us or I think about God watching me... I am sure as God is watching me He is thinking "just how many more times are we going to try this your way... "