Friday, June 15, 2012

Band-Aid Treatment

I was thinking about this over the past couple weeks... Not necessarily for me but in general... When do you put your hands in the air and say "No More?"

I was talking to this person on Facebook that has gone through treatment after treatment for cancer... She was saying how she wanted to live her life and isn't going to undergo anymore treatments because the side effects are causing her to be sick all the time... She knows that this is only a band aid for her... She knows this isn't going to be cured... There is a small remote chance that she will make it to 6 months with the treatment...  Others may not agree with me, but my personal thoughts are that if she can't live her life and she is in pain all the time, why take Chemo if it is only going to give her a few months... She feels the same way and wants to spend time with her grand-kids and be able to do normal things with her sons and daughter...

When I think about what kind of life she must have and the legacy that she wants to leave, I can't help but think about myself... What kind of a legacy would I want to leave my kids? Would I want them to remember me in bed all the time with pain so great that I couldn't get up or move without Morphine or even stronger drugs? Or would I want them to remember me spending my last days talking to them and doing things that families do? I say that if I wasn't able to enjoy life and have no quality of life, then why continue fighting? If all you are going to do is do nothing and complain or not be able to enjoy those around you and the life God has given us, WHY? Why would I want to do that? Why would my friend want to do that? Why would anyone want to do that?
There are days where all I can do is sleep because I'm so tired and I can't do the things I want to do... There are days I want to throw my hands in the air and say that is it and I quit... But is that the right thing to do? Probably not! But there are times when I wonder if what the Dr's are doing is going to fix things or are they only putting a band-aid on things... There are days I wonder if things will ever be somewhat normal and I tell myself no... I'm pretty sure there are many that will feel the same way about this...

I know I will miss my friend... But at the same time I won't miss the pain that she has been in for the last couple years and I understand her wanting to have a life and spend time with her many many many grand-kids... I have to say that in Utah, people have a ton of kids, lol... Enough said on that... OK! Let me say she has ALOT of kids and grand-kids that she wants to spend time with and she doesn't want to spend her last days laying around and doing nothing... If my friend reads this, I want her to know that whatever her decision is, I think you are right... You have a choice...

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