Monday, January 12, 2009
Why Am I Here Still?
This post is for my friend that is hurting right now and is having a hard time understanding why she is still here and hasn't gone on to be with God yet.... I don't want to mention her name, but you will know who you are.
I know it has got to be so hard to understand the reasoning why you are here still. I have wondered that myself when it comes to myself. But then I think it is because there is something that God still wants me to do or to work through me. Even though I may never understand that purpose. It is hard to accept though.
I wonder sometimes if the reason people get scared of heaven or God is because we haven't been there yet and can't see with our own eyes. And I know for myself, I'm not afraid of God. But I am afraid of the thought of when I stand before Him all the bad things I have done in my life will come rushing back at me. Even though reality and Gods Word says I am forgiven. It is hard to forgive ourselves. I do wonder with you though, if it is more of a fear to leave those behind that will miss you and your afraid they won't survive or will have a lot of problems. You are a fixer of things and have a heart for people. That is a special attribute to have, but hard to carry each day.
I think heaven is going to be so wonderful, but I also feel that our minds and heart can't rap itself around the idea of what it is truly like. We have nothing here on earth to compare it to. We are told, but we have never experienced it.
I do pray that God will give you the peace you so much desire. He must see a great gem in you, because you are reaching many people through your pain and they need you because of the pain they have. But my prayers are that you are shown true peace. Even though that is something that the human part of me isn't happy with. because I would miss you. And I would have to say would be a bit envious. I can just imagine what it would be like in Heaven. Where there is no pain, tears or death. I think anyone who knows there is such a place longs to be there. And I know we will be and thankfully I have God on my side :).
What comes to mind is the song "Three Wooden Cross" and how it talks about three wooden crosses on the side of the freeway. And how there would have been four of them. And it talks about how one was a pastor, the other a teacher and the third a farmer. The 4th cross that would have been there was a prostitute.
This Pastor was telling his congregation about the Three Wooden Crosses, and how the pastor that died in the crash gave this women a Bible that had blood on it. The Pastor telling the story and holds up the bloodied Bible and tells them that his mom was the prostitute in the car that day and that his life was changed because of this pastor that died that day.
Big HUGSSSSSSSSSSs to you my dear BRATT....
I may post this or some of this on my blog...
P.S. If anyone who knows they are dying is afraid, I would say that is OK. God knows we have this fear and if we have Jesus in our lives and He lives through us, we have nothing to fear... Although that is easier said then done.