Monday, January 12, 2009

Why Am I Here Still?

This post is for my friend that is hurting right now and is having a hard time understanding why she is still here and hasn't gone on to be with God yet.... I don't want to mention her name, but you will know who you are.

I know it has got to be so hard to understand the reasoning why you are here still. I have wondered that myself when it comes to myself. But then I think it is because there is something that God still wants me to do or to work through me. Even though I may never understand that purpose. It is hard to accept though.

I wonder sometimes if the reason people get scared of heaven or God is because we haven't been there yet and can't see with our own eyes. And I know for myself, I'm not afraid of God. But I am afraid of the thought of when I stand before Him all the bad things I have done in my life will come rushing back at me. Even though reality and Gods Word says I am forgiven. It is hard to forgive ourselves. I do wonder with you though, if it is more of a fear to leave those behind that will miss you and your afraid they won't survive or will have a lot of problems. You are a fixer of things and have a heart for people. That is a special attribute to have, but hard to carry each day.

I think heaven is going to be so wonderful, but I also feel that our minds and heart can't rap itself around the idea of what it is truly like. We have nothing here on earth to compare it to. We are told, but we have never experienced it.

I do pray that God will give you the peace you so much desire. He must see a great gem in you, because you are reaching many people through your pain and they need you because of the pain they have. But my prayers are that you are shown true peace. Even though that is something that the human part of me isn't happy with. because I would miss you. And I would have to say would be a bit envious. I can just imagine what it would be like in Heaven. Where there is no pain, tears or death. I think anyone who knows there is such a place longs to be there. And I know we will be and thankfully I have God on my side :).

What comes to mind is the song "Three Wooden Cross" and how it talks about three wooden crosses on the side of the freeway. And how there would have been four of them. And it talks about how one was a pastor, the other a teacher and the third a farmer. The 4th cross that would have been there was a prostitute.

This Pastor was telling his congregation about the Three Wooden Crosses, and how the pastor that died in the crash gave this women a Bible that had blood on it. The Pastor telling the story and holds up the bloodied Bible and tells them that his mom was the prostitute in the car that day and that his life was changed because of this pastor that died that day.

Big HUGSSSSSSSSSSs to you my dear BRATT....

I may post this or some of this on my blog...

P.S. If anyone who knows they are dying is afraid, I would say that is OK. God knows we have this fear and if we have Jesus in our lives and He lives through us, we have nothing to fear... Although that is easier said then done.


Anonymous said...

Oh my precious Sandie,
You and I together are one of a kind. we've been through soooo much together. I have to admit. I started to sob when I saw our Meadow. I've seen it in my dreams. Even the tree. Oh Sandie I miss you so much. Maybe when I'm ready to go it will be your time. Maybe God put us here together because no one truely understands the physical pain we endure. It's hard to keep fighting. I keep thinking of my family, and if I am scared of God. I feel Him with me everywhere. And maybe you are right. Maybe He is preparing me and showing me little peices here and there so I wont get so scared when I do go.
I'm tired Sandie. I know you know what kind of tired I speak of. But I guess you and I are here for reasons just like everyone else. I cant wait because one day I wont have to say "I'll see you at the Meadow". I wil open my eyes and there you'll be.
I love you my precious precious friend.

Anonymous said...

I always tell everyone to "keep fighting". Is it ok to say I want to stop, when I tell them they need to???

JenJen said...

Just to let you know. I agree with you all the way with everything including Sandie. She is a one of a kind friend. I believe that our Heavenly Father is preparing you slowly for him to call you home. I know that different religions have different views on being called home and what happens to us and where we go, but no matter what religion we are our Heavenly Father loves us. Bless you Nancy and remember his love.

Sandie said...

I know my dear, one day we will all be sitting next to the most beautiful place there is. I was going to say in this world. But of course heaven would be nothing like anything in this world.

I know you are tired my dear. I will call you tomorrow if you like. Oh be sure to let everyone know about the contest I was telling you about, lol...

Can you imagine what it would be like to close your eyes to this world and wake up somewhere so wonderful. I also think about my Brandie and all those that I love and that I know will be there. I feel bad for those who won't be there and that they can't see and understand the peace that is waiting for them. Just think about what it will be like. I just worry about those that don't know Christ. I don't worry about those that know Christ. I worry about their pain in this world and the hurt they feel.

I do miss you too my dear and it would be nice if you were closer and we could sit down in front of each other and discuss and comfort one another. Your mom and Jenny and your entire family is in my prayers. Let me know when would be a good time to call.

Love ya my dear...

To your P.S. I agree, it is OK to stop fighting. And to just say, "Ok, God, my life is in your Hands". I don't see that it is really giving up though, it is giving into Gods plan, not ours. God made us to fight and I do think we know when it is time to give in and say OK. I am ready now....